As I pressed post, she sent me a response. Not available that weekend. Send word if we come another time. That was it. Nothing about her life.
In that moment, realization hits, we really are strangers. I'm holding on to the girl from my past. She isn't her in the same way that I'm not me anymore. Clearly, she doesn't want to share anything with me. Guess she wasn't bluffing when she said I don't deserve anything from her, it's true, but it hurts. I got my hopes up when she left the door open, but then shut it again by deciding not to write anything about her. Hope this moves me closer to acceptance or closure of a relationship that is in the past now.
Why do I live in the past so much? I'm eaten up inside with all of the mistakes I've made and who I used to be and who I've hurt.
I don't disappear like I used to. I've tried to own up to my faults and apologize to those that I've hurt. I wish I could stop telling myself I'm the worst. In reality, I'm really not. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
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