Half Truths

How many times have I repeated something without researching it? Too many to count. I trust the word of those in an authority position over me more than I should. I struggle with rebelling and wanting to please authority at the same time. Not my best quality.

The whole purpose of this post is about something that K's mom said to me about watermelon. We were all talking about WW and what fruit we are consuming copious amounts of (fruit is 0sp on WW). I piped up and said that watermelon has been my choice as of late. Immediately, K's mom states that watermelon is FULL of sugar and that someone (like a dentist or doctor) told her to steer clear of it and eat only other melons (ei: cantelope, honeydew).

This didn't sound right to me, but I still exclaimed, "Really?!" I did a quick google search the next day and did see that watermelon is indeed higher in sugar (17 grams per serving vs 11 grams per serving) than other melons by about 6 grams. Daily intake is between 25-50 depending on your source and diet or 12-24% more which is significant.

Now, I'm not denying that is more than other melons at all. But, it got me thinking about sugar content in other fruits so I did some additional research. And, wow, there are some of her favorites right up there with watermelon. One cup of blueberries, apricots, grapes, plums, and guava are all 15 grams.  Pineapple is 16 grams. So is a pear. One cup of mango pieces? You are looking at 23 grams! A serving of apple is 25 grams!! Your whole damn day gone in one apple.

The usual suspects (citrus) were all very low. What surprised me the most was, strawberries. How are we not calling them a super fruit?? Only 7 grams of sugar per serving.

Anyhow, in the end, K's mom was not wrong, but only gave a small window into the bigger picture. I have since cut my fruit intake (aside from me still eating a significant portion of watermelon right now :) and have been trying to drink more water. Side effect to drinking more water, peeing every hour :(

On the up and up, I lost another 1.8 pounds this week! Almost at 12 pounds down and I got to cross off another number on my chart. 3 pounds from 5% of my body weight, feeling really good, too. I think that is the best part of all the changes, I feel so much better. I need to remind myself of that the next time I want the large serving of garlic fries (damn you, Braves stadium food!). I have had very few cravings or feeling like I've been denied of something doing WW. I really feel like this program is great in so many ways. I've not been obsessing about caloric intake (like I did with MyFitnessPal) or greatly missing sugar/carbs (like with Whole30). The only issue I have is that they don't explain what equals 1 point, so we will have to continue to pay and use their tracking system. Until we are no longer successful using the system, I will happily pay to make better changes and teach myself better portions (which I think is a big part of this whole thing).

Barrier

I'm feeling like 274 pounds is a barrier I just cannot break through. We will see what happens on Friday, but this morning I was back above 274! The first 8 pounds came off like gang busters, now I keep hovering, going below and back up again.

K did come up with a fun idea that she saw from another WW insta, which was this poster board that is covered in washi tape and has a countdown of each pound lost from our highest weight to our goal weight. It turned out great!

Inevitability

PS: my post on the app trending for several hours! 1800 likes and 450 comments!

So, this always happens after I have a freak out about finances. Talking to K last night about saving for the wedding... I said no more take out lunches, only bring from home. Totally forgot that I was going to lunch with some co-workers and had to beg K for forgiveness. Maybe that'll teach me to give someone else a hard time when it is inevitable that it will happen to me soon after.

Attention

I may or may not have posted a #transformationtuesday on the WW app to see if I could get people to comment/like my post.

And, boy, did I ever get comments and likes! The validation feels nice, but I feel like a poser for seeking it from strangers. I did text K and my mom (who still hasn't responded, hope it is because she is taking a nap). K gave me some good validation, as well.

It is taking me about 14 days, but I have finally worked back down to almost 10 pounds down again. Not sure I want to slip up again like that, it is much harder to get back on track when I do...

Solution

It is amazing how little home ownership knowledge I have, I need to remedy that. K researched about home equity lines of credit and found that could be a solution for us. We spent two hours at the bank yesterday to only be denied in the end because her length of credit history wasn't long enough and she was maxed out on her available credit.

In the end, we will still need her dad to cosign on the line of credit (which he agreed to do and they will be closing on it Friday). This is probably the best solution that could have happened. We are getting out from under $30K in credit cards and the interest rate is only 3.49% compared to almost 30% we were paying. He still pushed the roommate idea to pay them off even faster, but K finally convinced him that it was unnecessary due to how much we are already committing to pay monthly. 

Still sucks to have parental involvement but, it is a better outcome than I had envisioned on Tuesday. 

Frustrated Beyond Belief

K decided to tell her dad just now about all of her credit card debt....

This was not the plan.... I wanted K to discuss with her grandma who has a trust that paid for the condo to begin with and ask to refinance the mortgage and free up the money to pay off the credit cards.

He wants us to get a roommate and pay $1200 per month for two years. That would be great if we weren't getting married in 18 months. I already feel a battle brewing, I have been free and clear of parental rule for over 10 years.

I'm not sure what is going to happen this weekend when we meet with them.

Money

K and I are having our first big argument about money.... And it sucks big time. Her car's A/C is broken and she has a leak that would need to be fixed before her birthday because of emissions requirements. To fix the A/C, it would be around $1,700 and to fix the leak, it would be around $800. Her car is not worth more than $2,500 so it doesn't make sense to fix it now. Especially sucks, because we just put about $1,000 into the car with new tires and brakes... Which she pushed for and I didn't want to repair just yet, but then I also pushed to keep this car for another 2 years until after we got married. Ugh.

Now... The buying of a car issue. She has an extreme emotional want to buy an SUV. Every time I bring up not getting an SUV, it comes back to her dream, that it is something that she has wanted since she started driving. I get it, I truly do. She doesn't want to spend money (each time she says it, I hear in her statement that she doesn't want to spend HER money even though she isn't explicitly saying that) on something she wouldn't be happy driving. She also used a low blow tactic of saying that it will be easier with a car seat and children if we have an SUV (still doesn't make it a necessity, plenty of people use sedans and quite frankly if she wants to throw that out there, then I would rather go ahead and buy a minivan).

I got really frustrated with this and just threw, "want versus need. What do you need? A reliable car with A/C" back at her... She hasn't responded after being very engaged in our texting conversation. I know she is pissed at me, but she has never had to struggle with money and make hard decisions about what really is necessary in a purchase... I'm not sure how this one is gonna end, but I'm not looking forward to our in person conversation tonight. Also, I'm willing to bet $20 that she will work late tonight to avoid coming home to talk to me but, will blame it on work after coming back from our trip.

Well....

Well, the trip to Harry Potter World was extremely eventful. Let's start with that I got vertigo the morning we were leaving and ended up going to the E.R. because of an overly cautious urgent care doctor who said that I was presenting atypically for vertigo only to be told, yup, it is vertigo.

We had to rush to pack and then I went with K to her colleague's camp house to sleep until we had to leave to prepare for the 300+ people. The buses were late, the buses were not up to the standards that we expected, then at 3 AM on the way down, one of the buses had to be sent back home because the shocks were broken on it. Then another bus had a broken bumper, one didn't have a bathroom, it was all just a hot mess. Finally made it to Orlando around 9:00 AM and changed clothes to prepare to go to the park.

The park... it was completely and utterly magical! The atmosphere, watching the wand ceremony (I got chills and teary), all of the shops and iconic items. Then, the lights show at the Hogwarts castle at night with fireworks! I've never felt more like a little kid and so excited to see all of it. So glad that E & K were with us! Unfortunately, I didn't get to ride anything except the train, but the experience was extraordinary.

The trip home was even worse for buses, two more broke down in Valdosta and K had to stay behind to wait for replacements. I got back around 6:00 and K finally got back around 10:00 PM. We were exhausted to say the least and slept 12 hours into the next day.

The only bad part is that I did "treat myself" with all of the food I am trying to avoid. I didn't feel deprived, but I did go over all of my points for the day, week, and my fit points. When I weighed myself on Monday, I had gained 3 pounds back. Ugh. So, back to the grind, ate within my points yesterday and have a plan for this week.

Now, if only the vertigo wasn't killing me since I cannot take the medicine and drive/work... 

Conversation Hogs

I find several things very annoying when having a conversation with someone else. At the top of that list is: not being aware that you are taking up all the air in the room during a conversation because you won't let anyone else get a word in edge wise. The definition of conversation: the informal exchange of ideas by spoken words. The key word there is exchange. I don't enjoy sitting and listening to others tell me all of their ideas the entire time. I want to be engaged and share my thoughts as well!

Not My Best

K asked me for help this morning editing a document. Unfortunately, the timing was poor. It was already 5 minutes after I usually leave for work. So, I sent off a text that I would be late into the office and started to task. It took me a lot longer than I wanted it to take. Then, I lashed out at K about it and how I could've easily finished this at my desk at work rather than giving her what I did, which was less than my best effort, because I was frustrated that it needed to happen right then and there.

I have a tendency to lash out at the people I love, then regret it and apologize later. I think I need more introspection to figure out this behavior and how to eliminate it. Often, I refer to myself as the "first son" from the parable in Matthew. I get the job done, but not without voicing my displeasure. Truly, I want to be the person who is tasked with something and does it with pleasure. Hopefully, I'll get there someday.

Food

Sometimes I feel like a prisoner to food. It is something I need to survive, but I struggle heavily with overeating and emotional eating. Since we started WW, things have been a lot easier because there is a formula to this, rules and boundaries, which make it simple. I do well with rules and structure. I struggle with free form and chaos. My worry is that, this weekend I may fall of the rails with my eating/drinking because I am not going to be in my routine. My intentions are there and I have the app, the rules, and the accountability. I guess I need to believe in myself a little more, that I am capable of being greater than my own worst enemy.